The Completely Random Events Of Naruto Uzumaki
by Blaze Of The Shadow
Summary: A Look in the very random life of our lovable killing ninja machine, Naruto Uzumaki.... He Will Kill you and use your head for a cup!
1. Do You Have A Waffle?

The Completely Random Events Of Naruto Uzumaki

Chapter 1

Do You Have…A Waffle??

Once upon a time there was a boy named Naruto!

He woke up and had a urge to eat one of mankind's most yummiest creations! ZE WAFFLE!!

He tried to enter his local corner shop, but being the dickheads they are, they kicked him out because they thought he was a demon! He took care of this problem with a nicely thrown Molotov cocktail.

In the burning remains of the shop he found a human hand (CRISPY!) a can of nothing, and waffles that instantly turned to ash… Naruto sulked off and went to find waffles….only to find Tora, the evil cat.. Naruto promptly ate it.

During his epic journey he found a RPG…which he fired at the hokage tower…killing many including Sarutobi, he came across Sakura, who then started to yell at him, he placed sakura in his mouth and chopped her in half with his teeth of carnage. Sasuke seeing this, saw it to be wise and not fuck with Naruto and go home for the remainder of the day.

Naruto went to the Uchiha district and entered Sasuke's house, he saw Sasuke and held a shotgun to his head (to the human eye, Naruto is holding a dead kitten) Sasuke, fearing Naruto and his dead kitty, gave Naruto some Waffles and sent him on his way.. on his way he killed 2 random civilians, bringing his kill count up to 25, enabling him to use a tactical nuke and bomb the Uchiha district, giving his enough exp to prestige!

Naruto ate his Waffles of pure fucking godliness and went to bed as the remainder of the city is in total havoc.

The next morning…Naruto felt like having Pancakes….


	2. Time, Life, Death, Fuck You All!

Time..Life...Death…Fuck You All!

Once Upon A Time, Naruto woke up to a beautiful sunny morning!

Then time stopped, everything decided to fuck up with it, creating black holes and shit, making the Naruto universe a pile of shit and putting Naruto in our world….

For 10 seconds, as Naruto was seen and was shot down by both the police and the local mobsters… as here on earth and Naruto's realm, it's the same..

LIFE ISNT FAIR!

Naruto arrived in heaven…big mistake, he killed everyone he killed down in his realm in heaven, because just like life… DEATH ISNT FAIR.

Naruto then woke up from his random dream and promptly killed everyone from his window in a rage, turning a very happy morning, into a shit one.

Then time stopped, everything decided to fuck up with it, creating black holes and shit, making the Naruto universe a pile of shit and putting Naruto in our world….

For 10 seconds, as Naruto was seen and was shot down by both the police and the local mobsters… as here on earth and Naruto's realm, it's the same..

LIFE ISNT FAIR!

Naruto arrived in heaven…big mistake, he killed everyone he killed down in his realm in heaven, because just like life… DEATH ISNT FAIR.

Naruto then woke up from his random dream and promptly killed everyone from his window in a rage, turning a very happy morning, into a shit one.

Then time stopped, everything decided to fuck up with it, creating black holes and shit, making the Naruto universe a pile of shit and putting Naruto in our world….

For 10 seconds, as Naruto was seen and was shot down by both the police and the local mobsters… as here on earth and Naruto's realm, it's the same..

LIFE ISNT FAIR!

Naruto arrived in heaven…big mistake, he killed everyone he killed down in his realm in heaven, because just like life… DEATH ISNT FAIR.

Then the reader finds out he has been reading the same damn thing over and over, you know why, because the author said so, and why is that?

BECAUSE AUTHORS DON'T HAVE TO BE FAIR!

LESSON LEARNT!

Naruto has learnt molest attack, uses on Hanabi! Its super affective, sent to jail and labelled a pedophile! Blaze uses end chapter attack! Its rapes your shit!!

I Hope you enjoyed this random shit as much as i enjoyed wasting valuable seconds of your life!

Blaze


End file.
